Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Mulholland Drive: Rich-snob Edition

Mulholland Drive, not to be confused with Mulholland Highway (more on that later), is a thrilling drive for all the wrong reasons. Mulholland is a twisty snake where wheels love to squeal around every corner; however, it's not the corners that cause the thrills, it's the possible chance of some Prius coming around a blind corner, splitting lanes, and swerving out of the way while imitating the Roadrunner. Despite how fun the road looks, it can never be fully pushed because of the traffic on the road, and the homes that dwell in the hills.

Mulholland Drive runs between Cahuenga Blvd somewhere near Hollywood and Skirball Cultural Center (and a little beyond that). Keep in mind that in the middle, Coldwater Canyon connects Mulholland together.


The drive through the touge itself is fine, and it can be fun at times if you drive through it in the middle of the night. This touge is notorious for people avoiding the 101 freeway; unfortunately, both roads are littered with people who simply wish to commute from point A to point B. Rush hour is in full effect on this touge.


This is problematic because the average driver does not care about driving. This means that they will drive slow, cross the double-yellows constantly, and disregard any other driver on the road despite the fact a simple mistake could send a car tumbling down the cliffside. However, these mistakes are nearly nonexistent for the fact that these same drivers will not push their car or their limits, just other people in the other lane.

Another reason the road isn't really fun is because of the housing community. Mulholland is a glorified suburban neighborhood for rich people. People live on Mulholland, and people live on every single connecting road to/from Mulholland. That means a crash could not only cost the driver's life, but also could kill some schmuck minding their own business in their home. The touge sits both above and below some homes, so there's always the sense of someone watching or nearby. And since it's a rich person neighborhood, there's also plenty of pedestrians and bicyclists going through the touge as well, and the driver will have to watch out for them on every single corner.

The Valley
The touge itself, without the threat of others, is fine. It's a perfectly nice road to drive on where corners come up like a creeping, molesting uncle. Each corner pulls you in, and it becomes easy to misinterpret how sharp it really is. There is no uphill or downhill to speak of as most of Mulholland runs at the same level except for the exits. A touge that runs at a pretty even level is a fantastic drive that makes it a racetrack in the sky, but instead, this is a game of bumper cars with traffic that's equivalent to driving a block in San Francisco.

But let's say that everyone who drives on this road hates driving in the same way, after all, most do. The only reason that I can justify for driving on this particular pass is that it may have some (probably) good viewing spots. At night, you can view out into the valley and see a bunch of little lights or look out into Hollywood and see a bunch of little lights. During the day, you'll be hard-pressed to see Los Angeles's three skyscrapers due to the smog. They're not private, secluded spots either. The lookout points are usually full of teenagers or tourists, so getting familiar with the backseat of a car is not ideal.
Hollywood and rich homes

So for those who are bright-eyed tourists or like to look at what they might not ever obtain; then, Mulholland Drive is the place. For everyone else who actually like driving, stay away.


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